A time for reminiscing...
Saturday, September 20, 2008
It's quite late at night now, I was loading a movie to watch, so whilst waiting, I decided to browse through my photos...
Should I say it was a good idea or a bad one?
Looking back on those memories, the week of fun with my friends in London, should I be happy that the separation brought us all a lot closer, or should I still be beating myself up about how sad it is to be away from them?
And the fact that I can't cry is making it a lot harder to handle. My heart hurts a lot, yet the tears can't flow. They gather in my eyes making it hard to see, but I can't seem to
cry. I feel so painful now. Really painful.
I think of how we could have hung out more, we could have gotten to know each other more, we could have more fun... but sometimes I think to myself "Would we be this close if I didn't have to leave?" Is this a blessing in disguise? Something to show us how precious our friendship really is...
Right now...
I want to celebrate Wilson's birthday with him...
I want Coke joke around with me now so we'll laugh non-stop...
I want to watch Youtube videos with Liv and gush about Fahrenheit...
I want to talk to Emma about the 31 situation so she will smile again...
I want to go shopping and laugh at everything with Manjot...
I want to hang out with the gang again, with Arman and Keith, with Anil and Neel, with people in school... Tim and Alex, Katie and Luke... in Physics class, where not one lesson is boring, and in the Politics room, where we'd
cotch on the radiator talking about absolutely everything and nothing at the same time.
After all this time, I can't believe my feelings are still not numb...
And yet I try to refrain from feeling this way. I know there's no point of thinking about these things and try to emo-fy myself, but I'm not doing it on purpose. I really try not to. Of course, looking back at the funny times, they do make me laugh and feel better. Still, there is a tug at my heart.
I try to remind myself of what LynnXuanJie told me once.
Don't be sad. At least you know they are all still healthy and well.As long as they are
happy and healthy, I will be tremendously happy too.
day 1 - 10 July - last night out with Liv
day 2 - 11 July - KungFu Panda + arcade night with gang
day 3 - 12 July - hangout at coke's and basketball
day 4 and 5 - 13 & 14 July - fat cotch at emma's
day 6 - 15 July - day out at hyde park and bday surprise
day 7 - 16 July - goodbyes at airport
Oh man. How I miss them so.
Okay, so the tears decide to flow after all. Sigh. Labels: brothers, deep thoughts, friends, memories
4 comments:
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I am very happy that you managed to 'breakthrough' in befriending guys. Really glad to see you appreciating your friends and the friendships you formed back in London. Hope you dry your tears.. remember that your friends are all well and healthy. Distance does make the heart grows fonder, I hope.. :D
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jas, yea it was a lot of fun
lynnxjie, thank you! to think a few years ago I couldn't even talk to guys hahaha. psh. its a small issue now ;) hahaha jk. thank you again for ur comfort!
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few years ago, u dun even dare to look at a guy!!! jk :P
still as emotional as u used to eh? shud meet them again during holidays or something ;)
day 1 - 10 July - last night out with Liv
day 2 - 11 July - KungFu Panda + arcade night with gang
day 3 - 12 July - hangout at coke's and basketball
day 4 and 5 - 13 & 14 July - fat cotch at emma's
day 6 - 15 July - day out at hyde park and bday surprise
day 7 - 16 July - goodbyes at airport
LX
It's fun hoh.. :P