Depression Dispersed
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Remember something vague about me being depressed? I'm cured! :)
Not too long ago, about 2-3 weeks, I started feeling really down everyday. I find reasons to cry - especially at small issues such as negative remarks from people. Or when I was watching Charmed - and a sad part about Piper dying brought tears to my eyes, even though I have watched that episode before. Then, every night before I go to sleep, I prayed and cried whilst listening to music. I would purposely choose to listen to slow and sad songs. I lost my concentration and interest in everything I do. I couldn't be bothered to read, study, watch tv, online, blog, make cards, watch drama, write poems, laugh eat drink etc etc...
I even cried at school because of a stomach pain which I can actually handle. But how can I explain why I am crying, when I don't even know why?
I couldn't pinpoint what the reason behind these tears is. I searched up and down for the solution to stop the negative feelings. I suspected that I was depressed. But why?!
I searched about
Depression. It made me cry just reading it!
What Are the Symptoms of Depression?
These are some symptoms that people have when they're depressed:
- depressed mood or sadness most of the time (for what may seem like no reason)
- lack of energy and feeling tired all the time
- inability to enjoy things that used to bring pleasure
- withdrawal from friends and family
- irritability, anger, or anxiety
- inability to concentrate
- significant weight loss or gain
- significant change in sleep patterns (inability to fall asleep, stay asleep, or get up in the morning)
- feelings of guilt or worthlessness
- aches and pains (even though nothing is physically wrong)
- pessimism and indifference (not caring about anything in the present or future)
- thoughts of death or suicide
When someone has five or more of these symptoms most of the time for 2 weeks or longer, that person is probably depressed.
1...2....3......4....5....6...7....8....
hmm. something is definitely terribly wrong here.
Depression can cloud everything, making even small problems seem overwhelming. People who are depressed can't see a bright future ahead and feel powerless to change things for the better. They may feel like giving up. They may cry at small things or cry for no apparent reason at all.
Because of their deep feelings of sadness and their low energy, people with depression sometimes pull away from people around them or from activities they once enjoyed. This only causes them to feel more lonely and isolated, making the depression worse. Depression can cause physical symptoms, too. Some people have an upset stomach, loss of appetite, weight gain or loss, headaches, and sleeping problems when they're depressed.
But one day. one ordinary day. I suddenly felt hungry. :) My apetite has returned. I started to smile more often. I could study for more than 2 hours.
But my headache continues.
I'm satisfied though. At least I'm not too depressed anymore. I have a feeling I kinda know why I was feeling that way. I think....
Anyway, last Saturday, I went to an anime convention - Anime Expo, with Ivy and her friend Trisha. We went with Keith and his friend Leo, who met us there at Custom House for Excel London (such a long name for a place). It wasn't too bad - but could have been more interesting. I guess I'm more of a drama lover than an anime lover. But it was really fun.
Halfway through playing some PSP games at the stands, Ivy felt sick and started to puke. So we decided to go home. Trisha, Ivy and I were walking through the BIG building, when we past by
an orange-y area. We heard screams and we turned to our right. We stopped.
"sth sth sth... slimiest Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards show? etc"
I asked one of the on-lookers whether the real Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards is actually taking place inside (we could only see a small tv inside and some security guards and a big banner at the welcoming door.. and orange carpet)
Turns out... yes, it is the real show going on. meaning --> The celebrities are inside! Meaning! We have a chance to meet them!!! We heard Justin Timberlake's voice, we saw it live on the tv but behind the black wall - was the actual stage and the actual audience and the actual celebrities! We were so excited!! We waited at the front for almost 2hours and people started coming out by then. Sadly, we didn't meet any celebrities. Not even McFly - who was hosting the show. But there were about 2 or 3 cameramen who came out to interview the little kids who were the audience. Trisha and Ivy tried their best to be captured in the camera (so watch out for us when you watch the show on tv!) whilst I kept anticipating for even the quickest glance on a celebrity.
So what did we gain in the end? Fortunately .... ... ... (no, no celebrity came out at all!!!) they threw free Nickelodeon goody bags out for us, so that's wat we got! There's a hat, some stickers, magazine, a game player thingy, and loads of postcards inside the bag. Quite good actually.
Since we didn't see any celebrities or anything worth jumping up and down in excitement for... we only had photos of us sitting there waiting.. and waiting.. and waiting for the hopes of meeting the likes of Justin, Ne-Yo, Emma Watson....
But. photos are on Trisha's phone, and she hasnt sent it to me. So this is a photoless post :)
Or. Might as well add in something to spice this post up :)
my eye
Current mood: headachy and guilty for not studying
Currently listening to: I don't dance - Chad and Ryan (HSM2)
Labels: deep thoughts, outing
5 comments:
-
I was having that last month when I was on the pill. But now things have improved so much.
-
ermm...could tat be PMS??
becoz it does sounds like it...well, the only way to determine is that once u get the 'period', all the signs disappears....as in depression..etc..all disappear and u'll be in a super high mood including wanting to eat!
-
Good thing you got out of it... Be positive all the time,k?
-
Hmm.. wat pill?!
and lynnweijiejie.. i don think its tat because of erm, obvious reasons hahaa. but i somehow feel like im getting into it again. I thought i was cured. but then suddenly. the feelings return again. haih. think positive think positive!! *chants to self*
thanks :)
-
i think you need to watch more Nickelodeon, then wont feel depress anymore.
:)
my eye
I was having that last month when I was on the pill. But now things have improved so much.