Anger Management
Friday, January 06, 2006
It was at least 36 hours before I spoke to her again.
I wanted to remain cold because I was really angry but even though my anger remains, I know I have to
somehow communicate. If I did something wrong, I would apologise and mean it.
My pride is actually really big, but finally I said sorry. I hate us being angry at each other so I expressed my
regrets. Now, it was her fault but her egoistic behaviour failed her terribly. She remains rude and snobbish,
thinking she’s so superior. It’s no wonder that it is easy to argue with her. This time, I won’t apologise
because clearly it is not my fault. Maybe she thinks that it is not her wrong either.
[but you are so wrong. Do you think just because I am easy to be bullied, you can treat me like dirt?]
Although she definitely hurt my feelings, I was merely making a comment and she had to retaliate as if she had
every right to do so. If I am wrong by remarking about her delinquencies, then I won’t do it again. From now on,
I will bite my tongue, no matter how terrible the situation becomes, it is no longer my matter. I’m 100% sure
that she would be very happy when she hears about this. I will no longer be on her case, not in her happiest or
saddest moment will I mention anymore of her misdemeanours. I know she only wants me to be around to praise
her, to help her in her needs and to be with her when she has nothing to do, to play with her when she’s bored…
But why should I when all I ever receive is her uncouth manners?
[I hope you are reading this… never before have I expressed my anger publicly and thanks to you, now everybody
can see another side of Me. they can also know that the true you aren’t as pleasant as they thought so. You can
be nice sometimes but I am tired of being trampled on. Is this what you really want? Wait... I don’t think I need to
fulfil your wants anymore, right?]
I have to admit that from time to time, I also behave the same way that she does towards other people and
maybe at times towards her as well. Is this the reason why she treats me this way? I don’t want to be the floor
mat any longer. So, I prayed to God for His guidance that I can be faithful to Him and carry out all His plans for
me. I wanted to dissolve all my resentment and be free of this frostiness of tension hanging between us.
[You can think all that you want - awful things about me and pretend that you are actually blameless… do what
you want, it has nothing to do with me because you are the one who’s sinning. I’m tired of trying my best to
improve things but now I give up. You were the one who destroyed me and hence, you damaged our once-good
bond. Too bad… I don’t want to hurt anymore.]
I feel bad for feeling this way but I know I can’t deny it and pretend everything’s okay. If I’m wrong this time,
doesn’t really matter because I will not make amends. I’d said sorry many times before, not anymore…
she constantly said sorry but does she mean it? What’s the point of apologising if you keep repeating your
mistakes and upset other people? As a result, now, to everyone – if I’d trampled on your feelings…
I am very sorry and I mean it well. Please tell me where I am wrong so that I can repent and become a
better person. The reason I wrote this post is not to get to the good side of people, but to express my fury
and frustration.
3 comments:
im cool